Apparently I work for HBO

I went to the Hard Rock in downtown San Diego awhile back. 

This is footage of a good friend of mine dancing with some random chick. She told him she didn't want to be recorded.

Check out his response...

League of Legends, Teemo Adventure.

*WARNING* This post is for those of you who play League of Legends. If you are not familiar with the game, check it out here.

So, Teemo is a champion that I have always been interested in. Skilled Teemo players always seem to play a unique type of role that other champions can't seem to fill. Of course that also depends on how you play, not only with Teemo; but any other champion in the game. So today I prepared myself for a Teemo adventure.

The first thing I usually do when learning a new champion is check out some leaguecraft guides. The Teemo section was expected to have a high number of guides, since he has been out for quite some time now. I didn't bother to skim through the list, just clicked the highest rated guide and went from there. "AP Teemo, advanced player guide"? Sounds about right. AnjouShin, the author of this guide took quite some time putting this thing together. He put so much detail into everything, I highly suggest anyone wanting to learn Teemo  to visit his guide here.

Now after reading all that nonsense and dealing with some minor game client issues, it was time to get down with the little dude. My first queue was quite embarrassing, due to the fact that I don't actually own Teemo. Nor did I have the sufficient funds to purchase him. I told everyone to dodge the queue so I could leave with no time punishment. Nobody responded :( I dodged the queue and cried to myself for several minutes. During my tearful session of sadness, I remembered that a good friend of mine had quite a number of champions unlocked on his account.

WTF? YOU HAVE HIS ACCOUNT INFO AND YOU ARE GOING TO LOGZ ONTO IT?!1

Pretty much.

So I logged on to my friends account, of course Teemo was unlocked and ready to go. Most of the runes that I needed for the particular build I was going to use were also available to me. Amazing. 

I join a queue and enter champion select almost immediately. To my dismay, someone had already chosen Teemo. *Very angry surprised face* I keep my cool and simply say, "Damn, the first time I wanna play Teemo, someone else chooses him on my first queue". He called me a fag and said that I should dodge queue and uninstall. I did neither of those, I picked Ash since she is easy for me and I play her quite often. I could have responded with a dick-like response, but didn't wanna attract any negative karma energies to hinder my performance in game. We lost anyway, we lost due to the lack of a tank and constant bitching.

Lets try this shit again.

I queue up, sit idle and wait for the big "ENTER CHAMPION SELECT NOW" to appear on my monitor. It never pops. This is unheard of in the world of League of Legends, max wait time in a queue is usually like 30 seconds tops! This was really pissing me off, the approx wait time said 25 seconds, yet I have been waiting for 3:45. I figured League must be bugging out something vicious, I relogged and joined queue, "ENTER CHAMPION SELECT NOW" appears on my screen almost instantly! *Click*....*Click*...*Click*..CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK* Nothing is fucking happening. I am just reading "ENTER CHAMPION SELECT NOW" and thinking "I FUCKING CANT!" Somebody must really not want me to play Teemo, that has to be it right? What else could it possibly be? 

A spinning back fist to the back of someone's teeth was probably something I wanted to do at the time, instead, I decided to CRTL ALT DELETE my ass out of the client because it was obviously immune to mouse clicks, like it had some special epic item equipped to it.

After dealing with the task manager boss, I proceeded with logging on and joining a queue. I was able to enter champion select with no problems at all. The problem I faced now was that Teemo was not on the select screen...at all. He was kidnapped and taken to the depths of nonsense. Why...why in the world was Teemo just not available for me to select? I asked my team mates if they could select and see Teemo. "Of course you fucking noob" they all said as they took turns picking Teemo taunting me. I called them all racial remarks and dodged Q. 

Long freaking story short, I ended up playing a few matches and hated it.

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Teemo is extra weak.